Love Stories Page

New Section of my Blog

2006-01-18T15:15:00.000-08:00

This is just to inform you all that with blog assignments starting this week, I have decided to divide my blog into categories. This is going to be my page for all of my "Love Stories." As many of you have already seen, I enjoy writing in that style. Here is where I will be posting all of my stories and poems from now on. You can look back at my main page and see what other sections I will be creating. I won't have a guestbook or calender on these other pages; those will only be found on my main page.

Anguish

2005-02-03T11:01:00.000-08:00

It’s been going on for a very long time now. I always watch for her. I always think about her. Every part of my existence is centered around her. If only she knew, things would be so much better. I wish I could speak to her. I wish I could tell her exactly what I’m thinking and feeling. It’s not right to keep all of these feelings and emotions inside of me, I know that. Yet, I can’t bring myself to tell anyone. I guess I’m just meant to stay lonely...longing for the one whom I idolize as a god. There is so much that I want to tell her, and simply let out from my bosom. Keeping it all bottled up inside of me is killing me. I think that I will probably lose my mind completely if I don’t say something soon. The only thing that gives me happiness is seeing her face. Just to hear her voice is like music to my soul. She is my very breath of air, my reason for living. If we cannot be together, then what’s the point? I want to see her, touch her. I go over it all in my head at least a thousand times a day. It is all perfect in my own world, but I will never know what exactly things would really be like. Because of my fear of what she might say, I am cursed to live in wonderment of what would say. Of all the saddest words of tongue or pen, the saddest are what might have been. Alas, I sill live in this torment every day. As I awake in the morning, I see her face before my eyes. I hear the sound of her voice as I make my way through the day. When she confronts me, I feel so much happiness...and anguish and despair. If only I could tell her what pulls at my heart all day and night. If only she could know that my love for her is deeper than the deepest ocean. But she will never know that. But still, I refuse to give up. My tears of love are a waste of time if I choose to look away now. Even if I wanted to, I still would never be able to turn away from her because trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you’ve never met. There seems to be no way for me to truly be happy and cured of this wonderfully awful disease. Even death is not an escape. Death cannot stop true love...it can only delay it for a little while.

When I Look In Your Eyes

2005-01-18T16:48:00.000-08:00

I'll give you all my love
When I'm here with you
Just to see you happy
There's nothing i won't do
When I hear you laugh
It's the sweetest sound I know
And Every time I hear it
My love for you grows
And when I see your face
I'm looking in an angel's eyes
And all of this together
Makes me realize
That all I want is you
To stay here with me
Because this love is true
And this was meant to be
And when I see your face
And I look in your eyes
I see my future here
With you for all my life
My passion is so deep
It never will run dry
No matter what I do
No matter how I try
I know that I'll be here
Until the end of time
Know that I've found
What I can't live without
When I look in your eyes

Deception

2005-01-18T16:30:00.000-08:00

Why did you do this to me?
Couldn't you see
That you're the only thing
That is important to me?
How can I go on living
In this life of sin,
Knowing that I'll never
Get to see you again?
It seems like only yesterday
That you were here.
You said you'd never leave,
Then you just disappeared.
We would live our lives
In a Fairy Tale Bliss.
How was I to know
That it would turn out like this?
"No burden's too heavy,"
And, "This, too, shall pass."
If anyone believes it,
They can kiss my ass.
'Cause this pain is so real,
Why should I even try?
The only way it'll pass
Is with a .45.
I heard the news of your death,
And I lost my mind.
And something snapped
Deep down inside.
You see, up until now,
I've been on a ledge,
And when I found that I'd lost you,
It pushed me over the edge.
They say I need counselling;
That I need therapy,
And they can show me how
To live in ecstacy.
But no one's really happy,
It's just a persona we wear.
What happens doesn't matter
Because no one even cares.
I'm surrounded by friends
Who try to help constantly.
Still, I can't help but feel
That no one's here for me.
I've always had everything,
Who would've known
That right now I'd be here,
Living alone.
From now to the end,
Things don't look good.
They haven't improved,
Live people said they would.
They said, "The darkest hour,"
"Comes just before dawn,"
But my sun became cold
Ever since you've been gone.
There's nobody here
To lift me up anymore,
And I have nothing in life
That's worth living for.
I could end it all now,
And escape this desease.
It'll all be over
With just one squeeze...

Love Letter

2005-01-18T15:27:00.000-08:00

I am probably about to die. So I want to write you one last letter. I want you to hear, or read, my last words because you are so special to me. You were my first best friend and my first girlfriend. We have shared so much together over the years. You gave me my first kiss, and you were my first love. You gave me my first black eye, my first taste of happiness, and my first disappointment. You gave me heartache for the first time in my life, but it would not be the last. And when someone else broke my heart, you always swore to break them. I knew that I could always count on you for anything. I don't have much time left, so I need to tell you what I want you to know. You are so special to me, and you hold a very special place in my heart. No one will ever be able to take your place there. No one has ever even come close to doing so. Even after I die, I will still continue to keep you and all of the memories we share in my heart and soul forever. In every relationship I have been in, there hasn't been one in which I wouldn't trade everything for you. We used to be so close, but then we drifted slightly apart. I have always wished that we could have gotten closer as the years went on, not more distant. I want you to know how deeply I care for you, and I will always keep you with me in my heart and in my soul. I have never expressed myself to you as I am now, and I would not be able to bare the thought of leaving you and leaving this life without telling you that I truely love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. As we are separated by death, and as I cross over into the Life beyond this world, I want to know that you will keeps these words with you through all of your life, and I want you to never forget me as I am right now. My only regret through life was that I didn't give everything I could for you. If I could go back now, I would have never let you get away, and I would have never moved on later in life. I would have given everything I could and had for you: just to be with you, just to hear you, just to see you, and just to feel you. But as I leave, I have one final desire. I want you to have the most successful and happy life possible. Don't ever let anything hold you back from your dreams. Don't let anything get in your way of accomplishing your goals. Don't stop working until your every heart's desires are obtained. Don't ever quit. Don't ever give up, and please, don't ever forget me.

A Break Up Story...

2005-01-18T15:25:00.000-08:00

It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Nothing in my past has ever compared to this. It was an inevitability that I did not want to happen, but I just could not hold nor fight it off any longer. Things seemed to be going perfectly. Nothing had ever given off a bitter taste in our relationship. Every time we saw each other, it felt like love. Every time we touched each other, it felt like love. Neither one of us had ever known this, not just the feeling, but the state of living before. Ever since our eyes met for the first time, we each knew there was something special about the other. It was not the same as the typical tale as old as time involving two people who find love at first sight. Love is not something that is seem at a glance. Love is a way of life learned by two individuals. Also, sex is not love, and love is definitely not sex. Sex, how it was meant to be, is what happens when two people come together and share the most special relationship that can ever be known by any human being. Though it was not at first sight, we fell in love. Everything was perfect, but perfection only lasts for a season. I started thinking about how serious things had gotten. I am only sixteen years old. I cannot handle love and this serious of a relationship. But she was my best friend, and it would break her heart if I would have ended our relationship. But as I have said, it was an inevitability. I wanted things to ease up. I did not want to love anyone, and I did not want anyone to love me. It was too much for me to handle. I felt so tied down to one girl. I could not even take my friends out, who were girls, just to have fun, because it did not feel right.

I was going back and forth with my decision. Finally I had arrived at one conclusion. I did not want to be so serious with someone while still in high school. At the same time, I knew that I still loved her. She was my best friend, my everything. But nevertheless, I knew what I had to do, and I knew what I wanted in the long run. Again, at the same time, however, I knew that it would break her heart, and that is the last thing that I would ever want to do. After setting aside a time to talk with her, I made my way to her house. Upon arriving, I parked my car in her driveway, and I just sat in my driver's seat with both hands still on the steering wheel. About ten minutes later, I made my way from my car to her front door, only to find myself in complete silence and completely motionless while gazing intimately at the doorbell.

When I left her house, after breaking both our hearts, I bagan to wonder why I was crying so uncontrollably. Now, hours later, as I lie in my bed, I wonder, "I chose this. This is what I wanted. So why does it hurt so much?"